So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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