I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize