I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
