You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
