Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
