gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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