He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He kissed a someone with a penis
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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