I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
