Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
