are you still at the devil's house?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
