That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
