when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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