I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
