I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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