I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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