I'm lost and stupid without you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
