I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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