hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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