I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
