if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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