I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
