She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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