Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
