you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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