I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
