Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
