dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
