God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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