WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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