I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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