i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
