I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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