Already got asked if we're dating
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
