This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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