He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
