Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
