i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize