You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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