just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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