You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
