420 ftw
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
