saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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