belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
