New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
