fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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