She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
