everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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