Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize