Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
