just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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