Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
