I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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