Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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