You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
