We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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